DeAnna Gets Her Turn

Yay – it’s the first night of The Bachelorette and a new chance to judge people quickly based upon the way they look. Love it.

My immediate favorite? The guy that said that the only fighting position he knows is the fetal position. Another charmer is the science teacher who said that his only goal for night one is to get from the limo to DeAnna without tripping. Darling. Not so impressive is the resort manager metrosexual. Hasn’t he heard of the Manaissance? Seriously. Ryan, the virgin pro football player, is a Christian and obviously I support that, but his singing and his hair? Both are tacky.

One interesting thing is the single Dad, Jason. Personally, I’m in love with him already (I can’t resist me a great dad, plus, the guy is H-O-T) but I can’t help but be peeved because you know that a single mom would never fly on The Bachelor. I mean really – that would have to be the biggest secret ever for the poor girl because you know the minute the dude found out, she’d be packing her crap.

DeAnna, who wasn’t a favorite of mine on The Bachelor, looked absolutely fabulous. Maybe I’ll like her – we’ll see. Okay – the introductions. The Canadian, Paul, is a dork. Big surprise there. Graham seems sweet and might be good looking if he shaved. Sean is a tool. Mr. Science Teacher didn’t trip, but he lived up to the dorkiness of his profession. DeAnna needs to kick Jason off now because he’s my future husband. Jessie is dressed like a clown. Jon is a tool. Chris has really squinty eyes. Spero is so weird that he’s creeping me out. Brian has potential, but he twirled her (and he wasn’t the first to do so – where do guys get this stuff?) Jeffre is a cutie, but he’s the token black guy, so I don’t know how long he’ll last. Donato is pretty intense, but I think I might end up liking him. Twilley … um, Twilley?

Introductions, part two: I’m digging on Ron, but since I’m going to be marrying Jason, DeAnna can have him. He might be my favorite (for her). Patrick C. needs a haircut. Luke is a socially awkward oyster farmer. Robert is forgettable and I seriously doubt he’ll be getting a rose. Chandler is charming, but nothing compared to Greg – yum. Fred is adorable but a little awkward … in a good way. I like him. Patrick D. is a tool. Jeremy is a creeper.

My favorite part of the show was when Jenny came to question the guys. I love her! She’s engaged, so I know she can’t be the new bachelorette, but dude, did she grill those boys! It was awsesome. Her top three were Graham, Jesse, and Jason. DeAnna had already given a first impression rose to creeper Jeremy, and she gave the second one to the freakish snowboarder Jesse. He does seem pretty nice, so maybe she’s looking past his crazy exterior – maybe I can give her credit for that.

And now … the point of the evening where guys start to get desperate to get her attention: Chandler brought a duck call. Brian pulled up his shirt and made DeAnna feel his abs. Paul gave her his jacket, exaggerated his Canadian accent and (despite DeAnna’s pleas not to) jumped into the pool then stripped down to a Speedo with “DeAnna” embroidered across the back. What?

Time for the last first impression rose and this time DeAnna picks it up and carries it away from the large group in order to give it to Richard, the geeky science teacher. I can support that – he’s a cute little dork. I think that DeAnna and I have completely different taste in guys, so it’ll be interesting to see who else gets roses tonight. At this point, I may be over Jason (I know – I’m so fickle – I was so taken in by his single dad status that I may have fallen in love too quickly) but I would like to see him get a rose so that I can get to know him better. I have a few other favorites, but I have no idea who she’s going to pick because so far her choices have been pretty strange.

And now … the rose ceremony … oh, the drama … here are her picks:
Ron – the divorced guy who I may marry instead of Jason … we’ll see
Graham – I’m definitely a fan
Eric – the Greek dude (apparently she’s Greek too – don’t know how I missed that before – guess that’s how extremely interesting I found her)
Robert – seriously? I guess the cooking won her over.
Sean – WHAT? He’s a freakin’ tool! He kicked a lemon off of a guy’s head tonight! She’s as stupid as I always thought.
Ryan – Yuck. Yuck, yuck, yuck.
Chris – I support that. There’s something about him that I like.
Paul – This girl is a dumb ass, but at least if someone is going on tv and getting the chance to meet all these men and all, she isn’t taking anyone from the pool of America’s single men that I would want.
Fred – I like Fred. He’s too good for this crazy bitch, though. I don’t think she’s a nice enough girl for him.
Twilley – one of the producer’s picks – they’re going to need something to make this show interesting and all they have so far is Sean’s aggression
Jason – single dad makes it – we’ll see if he continues to make me fall in love with him and we’ll also see what happens when DeAnna is faced with the prospect of being a step-mommy
Brian from Texas gets the last rose – he’s okay, I guess, but she made a mistake by not picking Luke, I think.

So, for the last thoughts from the poor rejected dues:
Luke is poor class. He says that she deserves the best after what happened with her and Brad and says that all the guys “in there” are great and that he’s just a simple country guy. I predict a crop of websites devoted to girls wanting to meet and marry Luke. He’s good people.
Chandler is pretty bitter, but is mostly mad at himself – he says that he blew it and he cries a little.
Greg is just weird – he calls himself a rebellious bastard and a prince amongst men and says that he will rise from the ashes … and then he rips his shirt off and give s a tribal yell. Yes, I’m serious. He’s covered in tattoos and hot as hell, but boyfriend is cuh-ray-zy. It’s tragic, really.
So, I think that this season will be enjoyable – for one thing, the guys are living in a crappy “bunk house” and get the opportunity to occasionally stay in DeAnna’s mansion with her. I think that DeAnna might be a dirty girl … and she may also be a psycho girlfriend – with 15 boyfriends. This will make for some good tv.